nspirational. But it isnt easy enough.

Sometimes I feel, Ive lost myself. The person I was. The one who cried when she had to, laughed till everyone else had to make her stop, talk till her mouth had to be sellotaped . But now? I laugh just so that no one knows that I need to cry, and have few words to say to everyone. I know where I want to be 10 years from now, but how? I dont even know what im doing with my life right now. I have a million supportive people around me, the bestest friends, a real family. But things have happened which have drilled a permanant hole in my happiness. I TRY. I try to forgive, try to forget. Why can’t I?

Ive stopped trusting people. Not that I did that before too easily, but now, I need to think a million times. The hardest part is that its become hard to trust the people I love. Everyday, I feel guilty for having such pathetic thoughts that ruin my entire day. Every minute, Im overshadowed by pain, the ugliest feeling in the world. I need to be happy again. REALLY happy. Not the kind of happy I am right now.

Why can’t anyone see through me? My smile has got hundreds of words locked in it. And I refuse to let them out. Can’t hurt you, like you did, can I.