Till we meet again.

SO this is it. 2 more exams and I'm done with my first year at University. This month has been the most depressing one, considering how juggling exams along with other responsibilities is a big big pain.

It sounds cliched every time, but I swear, time just flew by. It only seems as if yesterday I walked on the streets of this beautiful city, clueless and apprehensive. But truth be told, I can probably map out most of the city for you now, considering that my sense of direction may have increased just by a minor percentage. I really wish I'd done a lot more this year than just.. nothing really. I was too lazy to commit myself to any societies or volunteer or even blog for that matter. I spent hours exploring the city and just hanging out with people, which I feel was important too. The only thing I actually regret, is not studying enough the whole year but oh well, who is the queen of procrastination? Yeah, me. yadaaa yadaaa yadaa. As long as I pass with decent marks, this semester, all will be well. But next year, OH NEXT YEAR, i'm so ready to battle with time to fit in all the things Ive planned to do. So basically, I have to study from the beginning ( LOL I said that every year in school and no I never really did that), join all the societies I'd wanted to be a part of ( they have a HARRY POTTER society with a Triwizard Tournament and all, how cool is that? ), prepare myself for the big numeracy test (YUCK) for the Cardiff Award programme that I was lucky to be chosen for, build on my CV, spend less money (never happens. NEVER) and just be a lot more committed to the stuff that actually matters to me. Let's just accept it, clubbing and partying every second day, is not my thing. I mean, not all the time. Believe me, there's more to just partying in the UK, for all those who think otherwise. You have to be here to believe it.

Honestly,I couldn't have asked for a better first year. It feel like I've finally detached myself from the Delhi womb and trotted into the big, bad yet beautiful world. The past few months have been a roller coaster ride for me. I learnt to live without my family and unfortunately  lost my grandfather who was the most special and important person in my life. I found myself being broken into a million little pieces coated with pain and humiliation and then fixed and iced with love and friendship. I learnt how people always leave and that you need to be true to yourself to be accepted by others, because people always talk. There were times when I just wanted to pack my bags up and run back home but luckily, I found some amazing people who turned every tear, every frown into a big, goofy smile. Controversies, drama and tears became quite a common phenomena. There were fights and make ups and lots and lots of love, all combined together. All I can say is, I learnt so much from every person I met here and for all those who gave me so much love everyday. You all are my home away from home and there's nothing I can say or do to thank you enough for being there all the time.

Anyway, NOW. I have THREE WHOLE MONTHS of SUMMMMER. Oh the Sun, how much I missed you, you big ball of fire. I don't care how hot it is back in Delhi, I need some vitamin D, really. So this is it, three months of home, my best friends,my bed, good, healthy food, laziness and NO responsibilities. Totally looking forward to every bit of it.

It's true, there's no place like home.


Here's a glimpse of 9 amazing months!

Holding On.

He held her against her, trying to calm her down. Her overwhelming sobs filled the room like an eagle screaming on top of it's prey. There was anger in the hot tears that poured down her red cheeks and she struggled in the cocoon built around her by his arms. She was in two minds - a part of her wanted to run away, away from the pain, and the other? The other wanted to stay there, to listen to his calm soothing voice, whispering words of love in her ears. She hated herself for being so weak, for being so vulnerable and at that moment, she knew. She knew that she hated the fact that she couldn't hate him, at all. The only place left to escape from, was not the room, but the pain and the anger that had filled her enough to choke her. It wasn't easy. She shivered as a myriad of bitter memories gushed into her head, admonishing her heart of the past, making it difficult for her to do anything about the current situation.

There was a fierce battle going on between her heart and mind and neither was ready to give up. A battle so fierce, that it could pass for both the World Wars, combined. All she wanted to do was shut herself out, from everyone, lock herself up, run away, scream, shout... something.

Slowly, she looked up and gazed into his eyes, startled at their dampness. She froze for a moment, unable to say anything and reluctantly brushed her thumb against his wet cheeks. Magically, all the broken pieces coalesced, into something fragile, yet stronger than before. Ironic, I know. But only they knew what it meant. She held him close, hoping to let go of the tension that had drifted them apart for a few hours. It wasn't going to go away anytime soon, but she knew it would because every time, they came out stronger than before and every time, her heart overruled her mind.

Later that night, the room had a mysterious tranquility about it. One could here their occasional sniffs and rustle of her hair against his crisp shirt. She wanted to say so much, words that would break him, words that would stitch him up, but each time she tried opening her mouth, a voice told her to stop, to succumb to her vulnerability and to forgive, whole heartedly. For her, his love meant so much more that the mistakes he'd made. To her, he was her universe, her entire life.

Maybe, somethings aren't always perfect, maybe our mistakes are what stop us from being that perfect person we're so capable of being. But what's life without a handful of mistakes and buckets of pain?

Maybe if we learn to forgive a little more and love a little more, the walls that stop us from doing so will come crashing down, and before we know it, everything will make sense again. So love a lot, hate less, and accept you other half with everything you've got because they're worth more than just a handful of heartbreaking mistakes.

From Jan to Feb.

Hi guys!
For those of you who asked me to update my blog sooner than this, here's a biiiiiig apology! Im back in Cardiff, and university life doesn't really allow me to blog so frequently. In between all the lectures, tutorials and other stuff, I hardly ever get time to think and write down my thoughts. Like now. This is most definitely not my typical kind of post but hey, I'm still going to rant on about what I've been up to lately. And for all those of you who think Im always online on Facebook, SHH, Im not always facebooking you know, the tab is just always open :P
Anyway.
The first few days after coming to college were crazy. It took me 3 days to completely unpack because I, the semi-blonde that I am, thought that bringing all my summer clothes would be the best idea. But my room is TINY! and the cupboard can't accommodate my winter and summer clothes. As a result, my room is ALWAYS in a mess because I keep throwing clothes on the floor while fishing for clothes in my cupboard. Sighh. And then FOOD-biggest problem of living in a self catered accommodation. Thankfully, my mum insisted on packing a few eatables for the initial days so I didn't really have to cook. Kind of regretting bringing more clothes than food ( my best friend better not be reading this) but it's okay, Im managing well enough.
I'm so happy to be back. Cardiff already feels like home. I have my homesick days but then, I asked for it :P I love college, I love my professors and tutors. They're so nice and welcoming. As long as you do all your work, they dont care about whatever the hell you do. And the support here is wonderful. They do everything to make sure you're understanding what they've been teaching, even if you email them 10 times a day, they reply with a solution. So I'm pretty happy with my decision.
I get weekends+Fridays off, which is cool but then being a law student, I have tons of work piled up for the week and I procrastinate a lot which, sigh, I cant do anything about, anymore. I've given up.
SO YEAH, whooop -di- do.

ITS FEBRUARY. God, how much I love this month.
However, what I can't understand is why people are so ajfbjwef about Valentine's Day. I dont get how being single sucks so much. IT DOESN'T. Been there, done that. + where in the world does Valentine= mean a spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend, why can't we just dedicate one whole day to people we love from the bottom of our heart, even if it's our best friend? Seriously, being single doesn't stop you from celebrating love. I love this day of the month and the days before it. My heart literally melts when I see old people queuing up in shops to buy gifts for their spouses, it makes me believe in forever & when young people (punks/guys who look like they can't commit) have conversations with their friends about what to gift their girlfriend, and even when some people buy cards saying I love you, mum/dad. It makes me so happy to see so much love in this world. Being spiteful about a day that makes you want to believe in love is never really a solution to anything. Not saying that we shouldn't celebrate everyday like its V-day, but you get what I mean right ? Oh well, to each his own.
Also, it's my birthday month and my birthday gets me all excited like a 5 year old. I swear, I can never grow up. It's going to be a low key one though, because I lost my grandpa (read : favourite-est person) this new year :( and I dont really want to celebrate anything right now. But life goes on, he taught me that and I'm going to definitely follow it.
Then we have this event in college, called Go Global which represents the different countries and their people, studying here. So the Indian Society is putting up a little dance show and I'm going to performing on the 24th of this month! Im so pumped about it. Firstly because it's my first ever performance here and secondly, because I'm performing after like 6 months or so. I missed rehearsing as a team, coming up with steps, fighting over songs and all that, and voila- here we are again.

This sums about the last month and the current one. I had a good time back home. It felt amazing to be with the people I'd been missing like crazy over here. My friends and family made sure I was well fed and pampered before I came back here, haha. I'm also happy that I got to say goodbye to my nana and spend some quality time with him. Funny how things turn out. One day someone seems like the happiest,healthiest person and the next day, he's gone, just like that. I don't quite understand how this works but I wont dwell into it, either.
I should probably go to bed now. Got a lecture in 3 hours and I haven't slept a wink. No, I wasn't studying THAT much. I had to watch Pretty Little Liars and woah, what an episode. This show never stops giving me goosebumps. Can't wait another weeeek!!

Hope you all have a good February!
xxxx

& it all makes sense to me.

When she first saw him, she couldn't help but smile. It wasn't like she felt an instant connection with him, but there was something about him that made her smile. Maybe the way he looked at her, or the way he stood, leaning against a table, with a half smile trying to bury away the awkwardness of the moment.
She bumped into him a couple of days later. Their hands brushed in a hurried hello, as she struggled her way into the long waiting line. He stood a behind her, separated by a couple of chattering young girls, looking around, waiting for his turn. She turned and made small conversation with him, unsure of what to say to the person she'd met some days ago.

As days passed by, they got to know each other more. She enjoyed being in his company, waiting to see him each day. He opened up to her, spoke to her about everything under the sun. She was surprised  at how she could forget all her sorrows just by having him next to her. Their instant bond surprised her, maybe because, he was so easy to talk to. She missed him when he was away, when he wasn't with her all the time. She missed his silly laugh and his ability to find something funny in every situation.

She was unsure of what to name their relationship, she never really knew. But for her, he was her own little world. When she was breaking, he stitched her up slowly ; when she was happy, he was the reason ; when she cried, he let her wet his sweatshirt ; when she was sick, he became the expert at medicine and when she wanted no one around her, she secretly hoped he'd come.
She didn't know what was it about him, that made her go weak in her knees. Maybe it was his goofy smile and cheery nature, or his thoughtful&kind eyes, or maybe the love filled bear hug he gave her every time they met. His heart was in the right place, of that she was sure. He took care of her like no one ever did.

When she looks back and recollects her thoughts, she laughs. Laughs because with him she suddenly feels like a little girl all over again. The one who always has someone to make her laugh, who protects her and appreciates her, for whom she doesn't have to change her ways, and can be the same fun loving, hyper and happy girl , who once got lost a long time back.

Now,she looks forward to each day, ready to face to world. She smiles because she wants to, because there's a small name behind it and because, the only emotion she feels now is happiness :)

It's all okay.

It's funny how the anxiousness of meeting new people tends to show them exactly how you are. But then those are the people you immediately click with, be yourself with, who don't judge you at all, maybe because they feel the same ; people who have your back 24x7, for whom time is just a number& friendship, a real deal ; people who you can call over at 4 am because you want someone to talk to or merely because you just need a laugh ; people who stitch you up when you're torn apart and people who become such an important part of your life, that days without them seem meaningless and empty.

As I sat on the window sill of my room at University, I started thinking about situations, people and things. I'd had a terrible couple of weeks. But I've still found a way to be happy amidst the emotional upheaval. From being torn apart to being sewn back together, the last couple of weeks made me stronger. It taught me how nothing is always perfect, how things that seem perfect tend to fool you at times and how people who you love and trust are not always the people who're gonna stand by you till the end. It taught me how getting too attached may not be the best idea and made me realize that trusting someone with your life is risky. But it didn't involve any negativity. The absurdity of the situation amused me, but it made me look for things that made me happy. That made me discover who I really am.
College makes me happy. The feeling of being missed by everyone back home, the feeling of independence, the feeling of not being judged all the time and doing your own thing makes me happy. A good morning text from my mom, an " i miss you " from my best friends back in Delhi, random trips to the mall, spontaneous movie/dinner plans, 4 am meetings and deep talks with my favourite people here, make me realise how I can lead two different lives with different people and still be the same person.

When the sun sets here at 4 pm, an immediate feeling of fear rushes through my body. The fear of not having completed my work and not having done those odd jobs I was supposed to. But then I look at my watch and smile because I know I have a long way to go. That's life. A certain period comes when you feel helpless and dejected, but the hope and knowledge of having a long road ahead of you, full of opportunities, makes you realise that life is too short to be anything but happy :)

Blog Award :D

THANK YOU Ajay Kontham for nominating me for my very first blog award :) Im honoured and really pleased to have such generous and wonderful fellow bloggers and readers.

I recently read Ajay's Blog and absolutely LOVED what he'd blogged. So all you fellow bloggers and readers, make sure you take out time to have a look at his wonderful posts.

So I was told to follow certain rules once Ive been tagged for a particular award AND since these rules are prettttty cool, I dont mind following them :D

So the rules are :

• Thank the person for nominating you for the award and provide a link back
• State 7 random facts about yourself
• Answer the questions asked by the tagger
• Generate 10 random questions for the bloggers you nominated
• Pass on the award and inform them

Im done with the first rule. Anywhoooo, THANK YOU AJAY :)

#2 State 7 random facts about yourself

• Im crazy about dogs. My craziness about them, overrules any amount of teen love for celebrity heart throbs .
• Im an animal lover and therefore, I'm a strict vegetarian even though im from a typical Punjabi family. 
• Im an extremely emotional person but I can hide my feelings easily. 
• Im dying to start studying as soon as I reach my University. Call me nerdy, but, I cant wait to open my law books
• I love shopping. But im not brand conscious. I'd rather buy 10 pieces of clothes from some random market then spend that entire money on one t-shirt/dress/pair of shoes.
• I take time to open up to people, but I feel Im pretty approachable as a person
• I cannot resist cheesecake and tiramisu. No matter how full I am and no matter how fat I get. I can't not eat them :D

#3 Answer the questions asked by the tagger

- Your motto in life?

Dont think about the reasons why it won't happen and believe in the ONE reason why it will :)

-Ideal person/Role model

 My mom. The perfect example of a strong headed career woman and a wonderful mother/wife/daughter. My confidante, support, strength. The reason why I believe in myself.

-What is the last thing you want to do?

 Erm.. :P I dont know how specific this is. Say goodbye to everyone I love, I guess?

-Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?

I see myself happy. No matter what Im doing, where I am. Just happy. and in love :)

-What would be one thing you would like to change from your past? 

Haha. Well, I wish a certain someone hadn't entered a certain "someone very special's" life. And I wish I could relive 2009 and amend all the mistakes I made.

-What crazy idea is on your mind right now?

Well Im packing for college and was wondering if I could carry one suitcase with just my shoes in it. hehehe

-What would you do if you were the last person on earth

I like being alone at times but not all the time. So I'd read a lot and dance a lot . And pray for some company :s

-What do you value the most in your life?

WHAT. Umm, I'd value my education a lot. And the fact that I have such wonderful people who love me :D

-Rate my blog on the scale of 10

EIGHT <3

-Review my blog, please.

Ajay, I think you're a wonderful writer. Your blog is realistic, fictional and to the point. It shows that you're a deep thinker. Your thoughts and stories are penned down beautifully. Keep writing :)

#4 Generate 10 random questions for the blogger you nominated.

• What is one thing you absolutely love about yourself?
• Do you think that our generation deserves the kind of bad mouthing it usually gets?
• If you were Steve Jobs, what kind of Apple product, would you invent?
• Imagine you're one of the survivors of Titanic. Describe your feelings
• Does wearing short and revealing clothes prove that a girl has a low character?
• What, according to you, is love?
• You're a well known celebrity and it's your wedding day. Who do you choose to plan and manage your wedding and why? a) Jennifer Aniston b) Emma Watson c) Rihanna
• Interpret my blog title-"Catch your angel before she falls"
• Which is your favourite-est song to dance to?
• What/Who angers you THE MOST?

GOOD LUCK :P

#4 Pass on the award and inform them

Muse-Ment

The Soul Sanctuary

Hello There Machas and other Fisher women

The Voice In My Head

Congratulations :D

Introspecting.

What do you do when the person you love the most, hurts you and makes you feel as if  whatever trust you built up on him/her was worthless? Its the worst feeling ever.
All the promises of a happily ever after seem non existant. Its like you just want to curl up into a ball and go into hibernation for the next 15 years of your life, and when you come out, you never want to see that person again. But then, like a magnet, LOVE, pulls your towards him/her. You feel that giving that person a second chance is not a big deal. As much as it kills you, you want that person right next to you. Their apology might seem meaningless, but youre willing to listen because youre not ready to let go. Youre willing to push back those memories right at the back of your mind, but youre not willing to throw them out. Because.. you cant. As much as you try, it stays. And of course it gives you a hard time. Its not paying you rent is it? Instead its like an irritating tenant who refuses to let you stay in peace. Its a constant reminder of the pain youve felt. Makes you angry , even months after you've said "its okay". Moving on is never an option. Youre obligated to live with it for  the rest of your time with that person. And then, sensitive as we might be, we try not to let it destroy what we have with that person. The one, who no matter how many times hurts you, is impossible to let go of. To hurt, like they hurt you. These feelings wake you up in the middle of the night. Dont let you sleep at times. And just when youre all happy again- Here come the feelings that you thought you'd forgotten. Its like a constant cycle. Never stops, never goes away. The one feeling of hate ALWAYS stays. But sometimes, its not hate. Its just a broken heart and lots and lots of love. Because youre not as strong as you thought you were. OR maybe, the relationship is worth fighting for. Fighting with your feelings, fighting with your mind and believing that giving that person a second chance was worth every tear. And all of a sudden, you realise that the pain you feel when youre in love is meaningless because the happiness you feel is what counts. 

Blues.

April 13th meant nothing to me. EVEN though my boards got over *indifferent shrug*. I still have to crack the big C-L-A-T, to decide which college Im going to ..
And once the I finish these entrances on the 20th of May, Im gonna be greeted by the ever so awaited (NOT ) board results.. So basically, Ive not been able to have REAL fun since the 1st of February because of the constant pressure of doing well. Well, not parental pressure, just my own What-if-i-fail pressure. Dum dee dah.
However, JUNE is one month im waiting desperately for. Im not entering my room unless its for sleeping or getting ready. Parties,movies, FOOD, and RISHIKESH bitches :D
SO its kind of crazy how EVERYONE packed their bags and rushed off to Goa as soon as they got over with their exams. So jealous -.- And now my news feed is spammed with pictures of the beach and all those people. And Im literally like, they know him? She knows her? They met in Goa? EVERYONE MET IN GOA? *sigh*
I wouldve gone too (sly smile) but then I kind of care about my college a bit more, since I REALLY NEED TO GET OUT OF DELHI NOW.
Gaah, I never realised how much I'd face this year. From exams, to college, to friends. EVERYTHING slapped me accross my face all together, oww. Give a girl a break please. Ive just been rushing to my law classes, cramming up stuff for my exams yet again, having serious talks with my Math and General Knowledge book as to how they shouldnt give me such a tough time and just accept me as I am. But OH NO, they HAVE to make me struggle dont they? i though i was done with math back in class 10th, but it came running after me -.-
Anyway, I should go get back to my books. I'd be back hopefully. Till then, everybody shout out.. LAWYERED B) kay bye.