Holding On.

He held her against her, trying to calm her down. Her overwhelming sobs filled the room like an eagle screaming on top of it's prey. There was anger in the hot tears that poured down her red cheeks and she struggled in the cocoon built around her by his arms. She was in two minds - a part of her wanted to run away, away from the pain, and the other? The other wanted to stay there, to listen to his calm soothing voice, whispering words of love in her ears. She hated herself for being so weak, for being so vulnerable and at that moment, she knew. She knew that she hated the fact that she couldn't hate him, at all. The only place left to escape from, was not the room, but the pain and the anger that had filled her enough to choke her. It wasn't easy. She shivered as a myriad of bitter memories gushed into her head, admonishing her heart of the past, making it difficult for her to do anything about the current situation.

There was a fierce battle going on between her heart and mind and neither was ready to give up. A battle so fierce, that it could pass for both the World Wars, combined. All she wanted to do was shut herself out, from everyone, lock herself up, run away, scream, shout... something.

Slowly, she looked up and gazed into his eyes, startled at their dampness. She froze for a moment, unable to say anything and reluctantly brushed her thumb against his wet cheeks. Magically, all the broken pieces coalesced, into something fragile, yet stronger than before. Ironic, I know. But only they knew what it meant. She held him close, hoping to let go of the tension that had drifted them apart for a few hours. It wasn't going to go away anytime soon, but she knew it would because every time, they came out stronger than before and every time, her heart overruled her mind.

Later that night, the room had a mysterious tranquility about it. One could here their occasional sniffs and rustle of her hair against his crisp shirt. She wanted to say so much, words that would break him, words that would stitch him up, but each time she tried opening her mouth, a voice told her to stop, to succumb to her vulnerability and to forgive, whole heartedly. For her, his love meant so much more that the mistakes he'd made. To her, he was her universe, her entire life.

Maybe, somethings aren't always perfect, maybe our mistakes are what stop us from being that perfect person we're so capable of being. But what's life without a handful of mistakes and buckets of pain?

Maybe if we learn to forgive a little more and love a little more, the walls that stop us from doing so will come crashing down, and before we know it, everything will make sense again. So love a lot, hate less, and accept you other half with everything you've got because they're worth more than just a handful of heartbreaking mistakes.

Introspecting.

What do you do when the person you love the most, hurts you and makes you feel as if  whatever trust you built up on him/her was worthless? Its the worst feeling ever.
All the promises of a happily ever after seem non existant. Its like you just want to curl up into a ball and go into hibernation for the next 15 years of your life, and when you come out, you never want to see that person again. But then, like a magnet, LOVE, pulls your towards him/her. You feel that giving that person a second chance is not a big deal. As much as it kills you, you want that person right next to you. Their apology might seem meaningless, but youre willing to listen because youre not ready to let go. Youre willing to push back those memories right at the back of your mind, but youre not willing to throw them out. Because.. you cant. As much as you try, it stays. And of course it gives you a hard time. Its not paying you rent is it? Instead its like an irritating tenant who refuses to let you stay in peace. Its a constant reminder of the pain youve felt. Makes you angry , even months after you've said "its okay". Moving on is never an option. Youre obligated to live with it for  the rest of your time with that person. And then, sensitive as we might be, we try not to let it destroy what we have with that person. The one, who no matter how many times hurts you, is impossible to let go of. To hurt, like they hurt you. These feelings wake you up in the middle of the night. Dont let you sleep at times. And just when youre all happy again- Here come the feelings that you thought you'd forgotten. Its like a constant cycle. Never stops, never goes away. The one feeling of hate ALWAYS stays. But sometimes, its not hate. Its just a broken heart and lots and lots of love. Because youre not as strong as you thought you were. OR maybe, the relationship is worth fighting for. Fighting with your feelings, fighting with your mind and believing that giving that person a second chance was worth every tear. And all of a sudden, you realise that the pain you feel when youre in love is meaningless because the happiness you feel is what counts.